Definitely true. There's a real bias there. But one must ask themself, "Do I want to improve my likeability merely to compensate for my lack of pretty privilege? To improve outcomes and opportunities for myself?" If so, then I'd argue that's not genuine likeability. It's egocentric.
However, if you're looking to improve likeability to deepen connections with people and create community, that's an entirely respectable endeavor. Frankly, I've always valued honesty and authenticity over being liked, but I can't say that everybody's always liked me!
Anyway, this piece is an interesting conversation-opener. I enjoyed reading it; can't wait to read more from you!
Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Alexandra. I have to say that I value honesty and authenticity over likability too, which raises another question: can you be likable without being authentic?
Good thing my dad gave me excellent genetics :)
Definitely true. There's a real bias there. But one must ask themself, "Do I want to improve my likeability merely to compensate for my lack of pretty privilege? To improve outcomes and opportunities for myself?" If so, then I'd argue that's not genuine likeability. It's egocentric.
However, if you're looking to improve likeability to deepen connections with people and create community, that's an entirely respectable endeavor. Frankly, I've always valued honesty and authenticity over being liked, but I can't say that everybody's always liked me!
Anyway, this piece is an interesting conversation-opener. I enjoyed reading it; can't wait to read more from you!
Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Alexandra. I have to say that I value honesty and authenticity over likability too, which raises another question: can you be likable without being authentic?
Very interesting, but it makes sense! If someone asks me for my help, I am certainly more likely to do so if I like them.
I can’t wait to read more about the applied techniques when the book is out.